Question by K.Bunnie: How Can I Help My 11 Year Old Cousin Succeed.?
My cousin is having problems with school and social interaction. I am not sure why. I can only speculate and wonder. His parents are not exactly proactive in taking a stance to help him. His dad is almost always MIA and his mom (my aunt) seems to be an airhead and clueless. They do not disipline him in any productive way.
I am extremely worried about him, I want him to want to succeed…
He is basically failing out of 6th grade, he told me a few weeks ago that it is okay to be getting Ds in his classes because he is still passing. His teachers ask him to take out a pencil and paper and they say 10 minutes later he is still sitting there staring out into space, no paper, no pencil.
He just watches TV and plays his PS2(?) ALL Hours of the day. He doesnt do his homework, study for tests and quizzes, he is never prepared to hand in projects. It takes him hours to do one sheet of homework when he does do it.
He is not interested in taking any extracurricular activites, like soccer or karate. He has No friends.
My Aunt is basically putting this on me, telling me I should talk to him because he might listen to me. I have tried to talk to him, it hasnt helped or changed anything.
I tried telling my Aunt she needs to get him a male tutor who can help him with his homework but at the same time give him confidence with seeing that he can succeed. She hasnt pursued this suggestion at all.
Last year, his elementary school principal suggested that his parents take him to see a therapist, but they never explored that idea.
I am planning on enrolling him in a summer sports activity (he was interested in learning to play tennis last summer). I would definetly be proactive in picking him up, supporting him and playing with him as much as I can.
I would also like to try and find an affordable male tutor that is good with kids that can help him with homework, studying, etc.
I would appreciate suggestions, ideas, help…
Answer by georgie boy
Sit down with him and study. Getting a male tutor is a spectacular idea- boys respond better to male figures, which is why it can be hard when most teachers are females.
As for making friends? I would say try to get him into a gaming kind of club, but that might be reinforcing his video game “habit”. It’s up to you and his guardians as to whether or not that would be helpful or harmful.
It might be ok to have him see a therapist, or at least arrange sessions with the school psychologist. It couldn’t hurt if the teachers think something might be wrong.
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